Transcript of French VS English Men | Tatty Macleod

[Music] hello how are we doing women love it fantastic very good my name is Tatty a little bit about me to kick us off I have got three sisters I'm one of four girls anyone else okay one person good this is relatable it's um it's no it's important it's the thing right when when one or four girls you always get the same reactions when you tell people right they always go oh my God four girls oh my God oh my God you're poor dad oh my God your Poor Dad how did he cope with having four girls how did your dad cope with having four girls well I would tell you how he coped right this is what my dad did a little top tip for you here actually right okay so listening yeah my dad left and it is uh it's very effective it's uh you're welcome okay what else about me I moved to England 15 years ago yeah yeah I did I moved I moved from France hello okay lovely some support in the room very nice it was um it was difficult moving to England you know because obviously it's a very different country and you had to adapt very quickly in particular I I had to adapt to um uh uh English men which is very the thing I got used to Frenchmen I had to get used to Englishmen and Frenchmen and Englishmen are very different chalk and cheese baguette and pork pie very different kettle of I mean everything everything is different dating different even something as simple like a booty call right we all had a booty call in this room yeah very nice of course we have London ladies Thursday night a few boot calls happening this evening I'm sure everyone here has had a booy call right a booie call very perfunctory thing you know 4:00 a.m. want to have sex send a text message very perfunctory thing a Frenchman booty calling you is a work of art okay this is what a Frenchman will send you at 400 a.m. when he wants to have sex so go like this he'll go hello I know it is late but I am thinking of you tonight I feel very close to the Moon we are both [Music] alone are you alone too by Lu a late night walk has brought me to the foot of your apartment opens the door is that we have a moment together alone in a world that is so cold yeah you know it you know it that is what a French man will send you at 400 a.m. when he wants to have sex English man wants to have sex with you this is the text message he is sending at 4:00 a.m. what you up to oine to the point you know and English men they get they get a bit offended when I say that they're like come on we're not that useless come on it's a bit harsh it's a bit harsh look don't get me wrong there are things I love about English men for example right get this okay I have never had disappointing sex with an English man now I have had some terrible sex with Englishmen but it was never a surprise I wasn't disappointed you know we got in there you couldn't undo my brass drop I thought I'm in for a rough ride and not in a good way do you know what I mean like I just I wasn't surprised it wasn't a disappointment I have always had disappointing sex with Frenchmen and again now I've had some good sex with French men but it does not live up to the sales pitch because when you get in there and he's like this this this is going to be the best sex of your life as they call me sex good since I was 11 my ex-girlfriend she had so many orgasms she died and then you get to it and he's like ah good night you're like I'm so that is not what I paid for come on very different there is there is okay but I give the French this right there is a finesse to the French you got to give them credit there's a finesse like in France right they have something called an amus Bush if you've been to a Posh Restaurant you've had that it's basically like an appetizer a pallet cleanser it's called an emus Bush emus Bush literally translates as entertainment for the mouth now if the English made something called entertainment for the mouth it would be a [ __ ] like it would there's a dildo with that name on it like that is what we don't have the same finesse that's a big difference and the other thing right and and and this is this is something I've really noticed we even insult each other differently like the English people the way they insult the French they really they get really into it they're like yeah yeah frogs Yeah frog frog froggy froggy yeah with your with your baguette yeah baguette this but frog right very FR but English people [ __ ] love French stuff you know you love French food love going there on holiday love dropping French words in conversation give a little jqa yeah we do yeah we do now let me tell you French people they are not doing that okay that's not you're not going to hear a French person be like good in it mate they're not talking like that over there the way that French people insult the English it's much more subtle okay and and I tell you this is a great example of it okay if you're an English person you love the French you're called a Francophile and it's a really lovely word because file comes from the Greek philos and it means love and you can put on any country Fran ofal if you love France angal if you love The English American ofal if you love Americans really International same word in French Fran an and American if you look up Fran in the French dictionary it's defined as someone who loves France and the French lovely very nice if you look up I'm in the French dictionary same word it's defined as someone who has sympathy for the English and z in a nutshell my friends is our relationship you have been gorgeous thank you so much I be taty moud have a wonderful rest of taty McLoud [Applause] [Music]