Transcript of saying goodbye to hoyoverse games

Hi, hello and welcome back to my channel. Or if you're new here, welcome to my channel. My name is Lori and I have a very, very, very, very overdue announcement to make about my content here on YouTube and also on Twitch. I feel like most people know this, especially if you watch my streams on Twitch, but I haven't posted anything here on YouTube officially announcing it. I think one of the biggest reasons that I have been putting this video off for so long is because I have had so much going on in my real life and filming a video like this is definitely hard. I feel like this entire subject has been much easier to talk about in my streams than me filming a video like this. This definitely comes with a lot of mixed emotions. something that I've fought with myself about for a long time and a bunch of other feelings kind of in between. I'm sure a lot of you here on YouTube found me when I was posting Genchin Impact videos and Honkai Star Rail videos. Genchin Impact was such an important era for me as a content creator, but also as a person. I have a video that I filmed for Genchin's one-year anniversary where I kind of go into detail about my journey with Genchin Impact and the importance it had during that time of my life. The year that Genchin Impact released was super super important for me. My father was just diagnosed with cancer and we were entering co I was under a lot of stress and when I played Genchin Impact it felt like such a breath of fresh air in my life. I was having so much fun. I was meeting so many new people. I was enjoying a story that I was fully engrossed in. I was creating with passion and that meant a lot to me. The main reason why I even started content creating in general was because I was a stay-at-home mom when I first started like over 10 years ago and I was lonely. I didn't have any friends where I was living. My husband was going into an office and I was just kind of lonely and I just wanted to talk to people about my favorite things, my favorite anime, my favorite video games. I I just wanted to talk to people. So, everything that I've ever done for content creation has always been with the purpose of me wanting to share the things that I'm passionate about and just yap about things that I'm excited about. Also, I'm sorry if this video is going to be like a little bit everywhere. I didn't write a script for this, so it's going to be what it is. I played Genchin Impact from the time that my father got really sick and then to the time that he passed away and then I kept playing it afterwards. During this entire time, I was still pretty stressed because I was trying to figure out everything that came after when you lose a parent and in the process of moving and then as I've mentioned this video, I'm a mother. I have two children and I I have my own family and I was still enjoying Genchin. I was still enjoying the content that I was making. I was still enjoying everything that I was doing, but I felt like it got to the point where some parts of my journey were starting to feel difficult. I grew a significant amount with Genchin content and even though I was still enjoying my journey, I definitely felt like there were times where I felt the fatigue. I felt myself getting frustrated. I felt myself at times even feeling a little bored. I remember really really wanting to play other games but feeling like I couldn't. Again, I want to reiterate that before Genchin even came out, I was already creating content. I was technically a variety streamer and I played lots of different games on my channels and I had never really been like a one game type of person. So Genchin became quite a bit of a hyperfixation for me and it kind of took over my brain. And I think another reason why it was so important in my brain at the time as well is because I was dealing with a lot of things and Genchin was definitely getting me through those moments where life just felt really hard. So at times I would keep pushing myself. I am a chronic people pleaser that is recovering and I kept pushing myself to make Genchin content because I know a lot of people wanted to see it. I know a lot of people would ask me for my reactions even to this day. People still ask if I make Genchin content or if I still do reactions or if I played through a new story. And where I appreciate that people think of me and really enjoyed that content that I made. part of me does really hope at some point that there are people who come to me for just me and not for what I'm playing. So, to help with what was feeling very much like burnout, I started playing other games on my stream. One of the first games that I played was Xenolade Chronicles, which if you've watched any of my Xenolade videos, Xenolade Chronicles has become one of my favorite series of all time. Xenolade 3 was extremely important to me. It changed my life. Creating content for Xenolade made me remember why I was doing all of this to begin with. I felt like I was kind of getting lost in the sauce for a couple of years where I had just gotten used to doing the same thing that I had always done. I found myself editing the playthroughs of new story quests for characters or new updates and I was just rushing through them. I was rushing through editing to get it up as fast as possible because I didn't want to disappoint people. I remember that people gave me the nickname of speed archon and it's because I posted my reactions really really fast. I didn't edit them down or anything. I didn't add anything fancy to them. Usually I would be in my PJs. Sometimes there were there were nights where I'd have my retainers on and reacting. For me, I loved doing those because I would have done them anyway, even without a camera on me. But seeing that people really related to them and resonated with my reaction made me really happy. And of course, I wanted to keep sharing it. So, for the longest time, I didn't mind doing that. It did get to a point though after a while where I would post a reaction and then I would stay up maybe an hour or two later to moderate the comments because I was worried about them. So, I started losing even more sleep than I I was when I would stay up. It went from me uploading my reaction to put it out there really quick and it being like a 3-hour process, which it doesn't need to be. And granted, I didn't need to stay up to look at comments and stuff, but when you're a content creator, sometimes you get into bad habits where again, I wanted to people please and I wanted to respond to as many comments as I possibly could before I went to bed. So, my reactions, especially to the trailers, started lessening and lessening over time because, again, I was starting to feel the burnout. I was starting to feel the fatigue, I was starting to lose more sleep, and I was very tired. I think it was also the combination of me just not feeling excited anymore. And to kind of segue into the excitement, I think that over time, I realized that some of the things involving Genchin just didn't excite me anymore. A lot of the choices the developers made in general, I didn't agree with. One of the things that I had been asking for since I started playing, like when we got our first survey um sent to us, I asked for different skin tones. I love to see a variety of skin tones. I am I'm half Filipino. I'm also half black. And seeing myself in video games or seeing that in video games in general is super important to me. So, as things progressed with Genchin, there started to be things that I just simply was not happy with anymore. I feel like whenever I spoke about my own personal opinion when it came to the things I wasn't happy about, I got really scrutinized as well. I remember a time where people even insinuated that I was turning negative and that I had changed. And it was just a really awful feeling. And I think it also made me realize too that maybe some people were right. Maybe how I was feeling about the game had in fact changed and maybe that was coming out in some of my reactions. I'm not sure. When I stopped playing Genchin as much, I started playing Hankai Star Rail for the first time. I wasn't sure that I wanted to commit to another game like that, especially since I was trying to get myself out of games that had updates that often. I wanted to start playing other games on my stream. I wanted to play other RPGs. I I really just wanted to go back to being someone who played all sorts of different games on my stream and creating content for whatever I felt like creating. I had the best experience with Hankai Star Rail. Everyone was really, really welcoming and everyone was really excited. I was excited. I fell in love with so many characters. The journey was great. The story was great. It was awesome. But then I realized that I was still not feeling great. It started hitting me later on that I felt like I was having to commit again to playing Hankai Star Rail as much as possible because when I didn't, people would ask about it and then I would feel bad. I think for me, I put myself in a position where I felt like I was I was having to create content that I just wasn't feeling, but I felt like I had to do it. There was so much of my brain that was like, we have to do this, we have to do this. So, the burnout persisted. I think the catalyst for me was probably Notlon. I think that when it was announced, I'm not even sure. I think it might have even been before that. I feel like that time period for me was just a whole lot of stuff. I was struggling with burnout. I was feeling upset about the choices that Hoyverse made. I was getting frustrated with some people who scrutinized me a lot about the choices I made with my content. I would post videos that I was super super passionate about like Xenolade and I would get comments on those videos asking me where Genchin Impact or Hankai Star Rail was. So I started to feel like I was losing my sense of self. I was obsessing about what I needed to do to make it so people were happy with me. And I know the majority wanted to see me make content for Hoyerverse games. I think there was even a time too where I played Zenless Own Zero. I felt like I was kind of just stuck and I felt like I did it to myself. Again, at this point, my burnout had reached astronomical levels. I was very burnt out. I was very depressed and I was very, very anxious. So, even when I tried playing other games, I just felt like I couldn't because I needed to be playing Hoyerverse games. It was really hard. So, I decided that I was going to stop playing Hoyerverse games for all of these different reasons, but I think one of the biggest reasons for me was not only the choices that Hoyerverse made with their games, but also the fact that I had lost my passion for creating for Hoyerverse. Again, going back to the reason why I started content creation to begin with is because I wanted to share my passion for things. I feel like Genchin Impact for me specifically had a very very important place in my life and I will never ever ever take for granted all of the things that I experienced, all of the people that I have met, all of you who are here, who are watching this video who came for Genchin Impact or for Hongkey Star Rail. I will never ever take that for granted, but I think that it came at a time when I really really needed it and it changed my life quite literally. Genchin Impact changed my life and I I will always be grateful for that. But I think that it's better for me to move on than to force myself to make content that I don't feel anything for at this moment in time. It's really hard saying that and again a recovering people pleaser. I know that so many of you are probably going to be very disappointed and probably be upset with me. I can imagine. But I think this is definitely something that I've needed to do for a while. I've talked about making this video for so long and I apologize. It has taken me this long to put this video out there. As of like I don't even know half a year ago. I don't I don't even know how long it's been. I have not made any content for Hoyaverse. Again, I could be off a little, but it's been a really long time since I've made any content for Hoyaverse games. I'm still always happy to see Wander. He's still very much an important comfort character for me and I will always appreciate everything that he did for me. I know I'm talking about him like he's a a real person, but if you feel very deeply about media and about fictional characters like I do, I'm sure you probably understand. I really want to thank all of you who are watching this video who did find me through Genjin or Hawkeye Star Rail. I want to thank all of you so much. My channel grew so much because of these games and I have so much love for so many people who have found me through those games. I have met some incredibly important people. I have met some amazing friends. I I'm just I'm so grateful for everything that I experienced and everyone that I met and and every opportunity I got because of Genchin Impact and Hankai Star Rail. My journey with those games will always be something that I will never forget. It is definitely up there for really, really, really prominent and important moments in my career. If you decide that you want to stay, even after all of this, if you did find me for those games, I appreciate you so much. And I will still be posting reactions to things that I'm passionate about and also my edited down playthroughs of games that I really, really enjoy. I think after all of this, I don't have a lot of interest in any other games that have gotcha in them. The only one that I have been playing that I have really loved and has actually meant the entire world to me as of recent has been Love and Deep Space. I've actually been playing Love and Deep Space since around launch. And I haven't created any content on it until maybe a couple weeks ago. I've decided to kind of stick my toes in to see how it feels because that is something that I'm very passionate about right now. It's something that's very important to me. But as for the future, when it comes to any games that have gotcha elements in them, I'm probably not going to play anything unless there are something for Kingdom Hearts or something for Xenolade. But other than that, I don't think that I will be playing any other games that have gotcha in them besides Love Deep Space. Again, if anyone has any questions about anything, I will do my best to respond to comments. Again, I know that some people are probably going to be very upset with me or they're going to be sad and I am so sorry. I wish that I could have kept going. I wish that what I felt originally for Genchin Impact, I wish that was still there, but I think it would be a huge disservice to the game and to those of y'all who started watching me because of my passion for Genchin Impact. I want to talk about the things that I love. I want to scream and cry about the things that I love. But if I don't have those feelings, then I don't want to put out something that isn't genuine. Thank you all so much for watching this video. And from the bottom of my heart, I'm so so sorry it took me so long to put this out there. I was very much struggling with this for a very long time. And I I know that I should have done this a long time ago. I want to thank everyone who is watching this video again. And if you came here for those games, I want you to know that I appreciate you so much. Thank you for your support. And thank you for watching me cry or scream or fall out of my chair or or talk about the lore or gush about my favorite characters. I want to thank you so much for that. Thank you for giving me space to be silly and to be excited and to be emotional. I don't know if people know just how much that means to to me. And if you decide to stay because of my passion for other things, then just know that I'm so happy to have you here still. And thank you. I'm going to leave a couple of my favorite moments from the time that I did create content for Genchin and even a couple of favorite moments from Hankai Star Rail. This entire video is making me so emotional. Oh my gosh. Thank you all once again. I I've probably said thank you so many times, but I I really do I really do appreciate it all. If you are a wanderer man or if you have Wanderer in your roster, I hope that you give him head pats and blow him a kiss for me. I want to end this part of my video with a quote from Wander. The past is set in stone, but you can keep moving on. And the longer your future lasts, the shorter your past will become until one day it is but a tiny fraction of your life. Thank you so much for watching. No, no, no. Cloud, why? Cloud, why? Why? I hate it. I hate it here. I hate it here. I hate it here. What the What the Oh my god. This game really wants me to play Duke. This game is really like play Duke. It's my boy. Balader and Kabukim Mono will cease to exist. Did you really think you would be able to see through my plan? My god. Thetori [Music] [Laughter] in that case I'll take some time for myself now early. I think it's early. What the What is going on? What is happening? Thank Thank you for having me on your awesome channel. You're awesome. I love watching you, man. Like, you're cool, dude. You got a good energy and like you're the the wedding the wedding dresses. That's it. You're done. Stop your career. That's it. That was right. That was where I peaked. No, it was amazing. You're amazing. Thanks for having me. Thanks, Scar Nation. Just all the fans. Like, I really appreciate it, man. The power of the Stellaron is with me. We made a choice. You are cinders of the old world. soon to become your asses. The architect. I wasn't I wasn't expecting that. So, I took a drink and it almost choke. Oh.