Transcript of Understanding ADHD Paralysis

hi I'm Rick Green In a recent poll my patrons voted on their biggest ADHD frustration from a list of about I don't know 20 common challenges Number one was overcoming inertia Getting started on something or on anything Based on comments in our patron chat rooms and my own experience over the years I suspected that overcoming inertia might be the hot ticket So this is the first of a number of videos I'll be making about that famous ADHD lament I know what to do and I still don't do it To find a way to overcome my inertia and I have tried many tips and tricks it finally occurred to me that I should ask why Why do I avoid doing things that are ridiculously petty that take no time at all The fact that they are simple no-brainers actually makes it especially gling I mean overcoming the inertia to tear up all of this old carpeting on our ground floor of our house to pry out hundreds of staples and stubborn underpadding and then rolling up the chunks of carpet and then hauling them off to the town dump There's no big mystery as to why I put off this job for 2 years whereas I leave the coffee and the honey here on the counter rather than put them away right here I know that these little incomp completions are trivial but the impact cumulatively is not If I can't find the wherewithal to put away the toothpaste or hang up my coat rather than throw it over a chair how can I muster the confidence to tackle a big project like tearing up all the carpeting or producing a television series 105 episodes producing and directing co-writing co-starring How did I manage that How did I do that While pondering the reason behind my dillydallying over trifling tasks I happened to have a conversation with ADHD coach Elaine Taylor Klouse She had some thoughts that led me to a minor epiphany actually it might be a major epiphany depending on what I do with it Elaine Taylor Klouse is fascinated by the possibility that many of the challenges of ADHD and one of the factors in many of the comorbid disorders that come along with it oppositional defiant disorder obsessivecompulsive disorder conduct disorder anxiety depression low self-esteem hoarding gambling addiction that these are all the result at least partly of having a childhood of undiagnosed and untreated ADHD HD Now I'm not suggesting ADHD isn't real Dopamine is a factor Our brains are structured and function differently Different levels of brain waves There's a genetic component Dr Anique Vincent has four sons Two of them who have ADHD were far more active in vitro We're fidgety as fetuses That said I just wonder if the way our ADHD manifests in particular for each person might be a result of being constantly told "Don't do that Don't touch that Sit up." And the result is that now that we're adults free to live as we please We shrug off those simple chores and responsibilities that we were nagged over and the good habits we never developed because there's this unconscious residual resentment over the thousands of times we were told pay attention sit still don't sass nana and since that conversation with Elaine Taylor Klouse I've noticed that many of the symptoms that are used to diagnose ADHD are things every child hears ADHD or not Don't fidget Wait your turn Pay attention Stop talking Just listen And most people can do that Not us Having ADHD makes those things so hard to do So we are told over and over and over Later in adolescence and then adulthood we're free to do whatever we want We can do what we want when we want We can spend as much as we like We could even do nothing I'd never pause to consider why I resist why that inertia feels so heavy so ingrained There's this resentment underneath it We all appreciate that it's holding us back We may even curse it We can curse ourselves about it But do we ever pause to ask why Why in particular Why do I only like wearing jeans Is it because we had to wear these really uncomfortable flannel pants to go to church and I didn't like church We never paused to ask why We are rebels without a pause And I think at least for me there's an almost childlike terrible too knee-jerk You're not debas I don't know It's just an idea Maybe ADHD doctors actually figured this out years ago and it's a core part of understanding ADHD And I'm coming along now going "Look the sun is very bright Maybe it's obvious but it was a surprise to me a new perspective for me." I'm not dismissing ADHD challenges This isn't about just try harder It's about reframing things or looking for the cores as to particular particular uh behaviors that we each have because everybody expresses it differently The inertia and procrastination and the paralysis we experience is complicated There are physical reasons for it and I'll focus on solutions to that in other videos In the meantime here's a possible solution a tip hack little experiment to try is probably a better way of putting it Rather than saying uh I should make my bed or I have to make my bed try phrasing it as I choose to make my bed I'm making my bed for me and my partner and any pets Hope this helps Please like share comment and uh and even become a patron Chop